“Was I Always Autistic?” - Understanding Autistic Traits Often Missed in Women
So many women come to their autism diagnosis later in life, not because something 'suddenly appeared', but because they finally have language for what’s always been true.
You may have spent years thinking you were:
•Too sensitive
•Too shy or too intense
•Socially awkward
•Overly rigid or overly emotional
•Always exhausted after socialising
•Struggling to fit in, even when you looked like you were
Why Women Go Undiagnosed
The diagnostic criteria for autism were historically built around how boys present.
Women (and AFAB individuals) often:
•Mask their differences (consciously or unconsciously)
•Develop intense internal worlds
•Struggle socially but learn to mimic others
•Become 'high achievers' as a way to blend in
•Present with anxiety, depression or eating disorders instead
Traits of Autistic Women
•Strong need for routine or predictability
•Sensory sensitivities (light, sound, fabric, etc.)
•Special interests or deep knowledge in niche topics
•Difficulty with small talk, but deeply empathetic in meaningful conversation
•Social burnout after group interactions
•Tendency to overthink and overanalyse
Why Menopause Triggers Recognition
Masking takes energy. And during menopause, energy plummets. As that mask begins to slip, many women start asking questions—and discover that autism has always been there, just under the surface.
What Can Help
•Give yourself permission to stop masking
•Honour your social capacity - don’t overcommit
•Build routines that work for your sensory profile
•Connect with other late-diagnosed women
•Seek out coaching or therapy that understands autistic women
There’s nothing 'wrong' with you. There never was. And there’s nothing more powerful than discovering who you really are—on your own terms.
Let’s start that journey together.
Join the next workshop here:
